RTT: The Special, Unabridged, Author's Edition

If you like Random Thoughts Tuesday, take a look at Keely, the Un Mom. Go ahead, it won't kill you. It's way better than reading my crap. And she invented it, to boot.




I love dreams. Even the super-weird ones that make no sense are cool. I like remembering my dreams. I don't over-analyze them though, because I know they're nothing mystical, but rather, they are my brain resetting, unwinding, and clearing the thoughts (good and bad, happy and sad) of my conscious self. So I take them at that and just enjoy them. Many times I think my dream world is better than my real world. Mainly because I can fly (although not high and not fast) and breathe under water. Some day I'll write about them.

One of the very best things I ever read, or ever will read, is a recent Twitter message I received. It's best if I don't explain, because the person who Tweeted it should make a blog entry about it. It goes: "iPad 2 wireless keyboard is here and is sooooo cool I sniffed it..."
This is, to me, what catnip is to cats. It just makes me feel good. It's funny, it's true, it's spontaneous, and it's endearing. It elicits the same feeling that a great minor chord in a piece of music gives me.

When you find something like the above that gives you pleasure, make note of it, comment on it, and internalize it. Keep it around for a rainy day.

I was away from home for a week, on business, and guess who missed me the most? Was it:

a) my youngest son, Wolfgang Amadeus Marshmallow?

b) my dear Mrs. Marshmallow?

c) my two dimwit Border Collies, whom I should have named "Disgrace" & "To Your Breed"?

d) the baristas at Starbucks?

I'll give you four guesses, and the first three don't count. That's love, for you.


A random shout out to a great blogger, who deserves your attention. If you like good, original writing, then you must check out dbs at think.stew. If you're reading this blog, chances are you read his, but in case you don't subscribe to his blog, go do it now.

Stop reading this.
Now!
Don't even finish my blog, just hit the link and go read. You can always come back here later to thank me.

Technically, that's the end of the random part, but there is more blogging sweetness below. The Unabridged part, in fact.

P.S. I have just been notified I've been infected with honored with a blog award, therefore, I will come back later today and add to this by spreading the infection to sharing the honor with five other worthy bloggers, one of whom I've already mentioned.

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Audiobooks. I know they have utility and many people use them, but I didn't really get into them very much. I've used two in my life. One was some Zane Grey Western that I don't remember, back in college. But I recently bought the audiobook of my favorite novel of all time, "The Terror", by Dan Simmons. Won't explain the book other than to say that it's the best ever, and it's pretty long, at almost 800 pages, so it follows that the audiobook would be long. I wanted long. I drive a lot, so I thought it might be fun to try out an audiobook to ease my windshield time. After all, I can only do so much iTunes playlist stuff. What better one to try than my favorite novel?

Here's the issue. As I listened to it, I kept thinking I was missing parts of it. You know, concentrating on driving and zoning out from the book. After almost nine hours of it over a few days, I kept having the nagging thought that even though it was perfectly narrated by Simon Vance, I felt gypped. So I listened to it again. And I realized that it was, indeed, missing parts that were in the print version. I happen to remember details of things I read, and even more so when I love what I read, and damn if that audiobook wasn't leaving out huge chunks of story!

So I did a few things. I checked with Apple's iBook store, Amazon's Kindle store, and with the author himself (via his on line forum) to see if there was a reason for the audiobook to be missing parts. That's when I learned about the abridged version of audiobooks. Sonofabitch! I didn't know there was such a thing. Worse yet, apparently the 'default setting' for audiobook sellers is abridged, unless stated otherwise! Who thinks this is normal?! Why isn't it assumed that the book is unabridged instead? Nope. If it is abridged, there is nothing printed to say so, nothing in the numerous reviews on Amazon or B&N, and nothing in the description of the item for sale saying it is abridged. That sucks. It has to say UNABRIDGED, or it is apparently the abridged version. I paid $19 for the audio version (which was 2/3 of a novel that originally cost me just $14 in soft back)!
Totally gypped!

Oh, and the author, himself, said that of all the novels he's written, "The Terror" is the only audio version he's ever listened to. If you think I felt bad listening to it, I won't tell you what he said. Sufficient to say that he was not pleased with the unauthorized (pun intended) re-write of his baby.

I did learn from him though, that there is an out of print, unabridged copy floating around out there somewhere, but that if I find it, I'll likely pay upwards of $60-$70 for it.

Those forking ice-holes! Bostitches!
(points for any of you who come up with that reference without using Google!)

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Last thing before the day ends!

As mentioned, I was given the honor of a Blog Award by none other than the wonderful Ninja Mom, who has a must-read blog. She has honored me with the Cherry On Top award, which means I get to pass it along to my favorite folks and also get to answer some rough and intimidating questions about myself. Ok, more like I have to simply write five things I like about myself. No prob'.

First my awards presentations:

1. dbs at think.stew. He's original, very witty, creative, thought provoking, and Canadian. What more do you need ? I look forward to his Wordfuse posts like a kid looks forward to Christmas morning. You must check him out.

2. My first blogger friend, my friend in real life, a stupendously talented, yet humble person...the girl with The Loaded Handbag, Nicki. I do know real, honest-to-goodness talent when I see it, and folks, she is the real deal. I'd call her kooky, but she'd blush and wonder if I meant it as a compliment or as a diagnosis. 

3. Barbara, who is currently undergoing Spasms of Accommodation is a double award winner this week, and deservedly so. She is scary, scary smart, apparently loaded with unlimited talents like building her own house (even if it was small), explaining liquefaction in a video, photography in general, and being a kick ass human being. I admire her. Really and truly. 

4. Stuperhero Extraordinaire. Her nom de plume is Raven Ridesemraw. If I have to explain why I like that, then just move along please and go ask your mother instead. She's wild, but in the most humanely cool way. I can't help but love things on her blog like the little Darwin Fish mounting the "other" fish from behind. Sorry if I disappoint anyone by liking stuff like that. Just go see the blog, ok?

5. Keely, The Un Mom. She's the creator of Random Tuesday Thoughts and a downright righteous blogger. Hers is one of the blogs I'd take with me when I'm hypothetically shipwrecked on an island. I also owe her an apology because I read her blog all the time and almost never comment for some strange reason. Intimidation? I don't know. I can never think of anything to say to her. Weird huh? Well, she wins anyway!

Five Things I Like About Myself

1. I am resilient. Long story, read about it back in my post called Conversation With a Trophy.
2. I have succeeded at everything I wanted to do in my life that was important to me (I plan to succeed at more).
3. I don't quit.
4. I helped make four amazing human beings. 
5. My mom loved me best (had to put that in there in case my brothers ever read this).

That's it. Get lost. See you next week.