Friday, April 8, 2011

This Title Sucks

There is no longer a Pennsylvania Academy of Music, so we are searching for ensembles and higher musical education replacements for Wolfgang Amadeus Marshmallow.

Hoping that the adage Nature abhorret vacuum is accurate (although the cause of this is a human-made debacle). And I'm really hoping that Mencken is right, with Nature abhors a moron. Because we surely don't need another moron to take the place of the ones who were responsible for the collapse of the Academy in the first place. Wondering if it is my time to step up or not. Scary thought.


Short story completed, but publication on hold indefinitely. 


I was able to step into  a world of my own making for a time recently. Having always been struck and motivated by the quote, "You are the author of your own life story." I had the opportunity to write a short chapter of my own with the trip to Florida last week. It was marvelous. The feeling of being free from the strings that we are always attached to, and the freedom from the pulling of unseen hands was incomparable. Ask yourself, "When was the last time I felt truly free?".  Until last week, I could not answer that. The feeling had been lost and the memories had vanished like shadows into the darkest crooked passageways of my mind. 

Regaining personal freedom is powerful. Akin to, but much stronger than seeing your whole life in black and white and suddenly lifting the shades to see full, brilliant colors everywhere. You catch your breath, then feel pure oxygen flowing into your lungs, clearing your brain of fog. Knowing you own it gives it even more power. Food even tastes better, it tastes like something. 

Each day, I outlined my story as I saw fit. I went where I wanted at my own directive. I created a living narrative, populated by characters, places, and things that I decided upon. I wasn't bound to the vagaries of the populace, or work, or even family. The authorship came naturally, unforced and welcome. No hesitations, no indecisiveness, and never at the expense of another person. 

Measure the amount of freedom in a life by drops of water and I owned an ocean of the most buoyant, fresh, clear water imaginable. 

A chapter with a definite end, but not a bitter one. Life continues on, but there are no unspent tokens from the amusements of that week. A victory of will that leaves me strong and determined to create more like it. I'll share brief glimpses of it here through photographs and words like these and hope that you will experience the audacious authorship of your own chapters as well.



  1. The photo is gorgeous. Just a feast.

    The freedom? I've been pining for that exact thing for the last year. I have been keenly aware that I'm in need of "The feeling of being free from the strings that we are always attached to, and the freedom from the pulling of unseen hands was incomparable." It's been a driving, nagging concern of mine. And the reason it gnaws at me is because to be a fully aware, integrated human, someone who interacts with others with purpose, love, joy, and empathy, one has to feel free. Even if only for a week in the everglades.

    My first real trip by myself was age age 20. I went to San Fransisco for an extended weekend. I saw, ate, breathed, and touched only those things I wanted to. I've been looking to go back to that place---not San Fransisco per se---but that place of self-determined freedom ever since. If only for an extended weekend.

    Missed you! Good luck with Wolfgang.

  2. Great post, and the pic is awesome too. Sorry to hear about the death of the Pennsylvania Academy of Music. That really sucks.

    The only time I ever feel free is when I blog and write poetry and short stories. Otherwise I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare that I will never escape. I know, I'm a downer. Sorry.

    I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

  3. I really hope you find something for Wolfgang Marshmallow. I do.

    I was just saying yesterday that I finally figured out what I wanted out of life. I don't believe in making intensely specific plans. But I want a life worth reading about (thus, a life worth writing about). And that picture? Gorgeous. As always.

  4. Oops! Posted all of my replies in the wrong section. Now have them here.

    @Nicole: Thanks. It was difficult getting that Heron to pose for me. She was a real prima donna. Seems you and I suffer similar longing for freedom.

    @Raven: Thanks. Whatever gives you the feeling of freedom is as good as any other. Just don't lose it. Keep it going as much as you can. You're no downer here, either!

    @dbs: Thanks!

    @Nicki: Methinks you have a life worth reading about already. Keep writing about it! Thanks!

    Hopefully W.A. Marshmallow will continue with his current instructor on a private basis, which so far, is working out well. But we need to keep him in ensembles, competitions, and other activities that the Academy used to provide.