Thursday, May 26, 2011

Very Important Blogging Tip

Just in! A crucial tip for bloggers. If you want keep from feeling unloved, unread, unwanted, or otherwise like a failure, do this!

Tip: Keep your blog posts short!

Studies have shown* that your readers, if you have any, pretty much all have A.D.D. Or some other issue which keeps them from reading anything they have to scroll to see. In a millisecond, they decide, based on the length of the tome you've written, whether or not they're going to read it, even if it's pure gold (and it's likely not, but that's beside the point).

So keep it short! Here's what some of the great wordsmiths have to say about this tip:

"Awesome tip! Wish I had read this last month."
--The Defiant Marshmallow

--The Defiant Marshmallow

"Quite true."
--Dead Shakespeare

"No shit."
-The Defiant Marshmallow

"I always said that brevity is the soul of wit"
Dead Shakespeare

"Fuck you, Dead Shakespeare!"
--Name Withheld

*Completely fabricated.


  1. Wait, you talk to dead Shakespeare, too? Filthy cad. He's cuckolded me again!

  2. I am so guilty of posting long blog posts. I just have so much to say. lol

  3. As you all are no doubt aware, this post is targeted directly at me for a few of my previous entries. All I can say in my own, feeble defense is that I was simply completing an assignment for Studio 30 Plus. Which no one there ended up reading anyway.

  4. I have had several long rambles and even I am bored with me after awhile. The laziest post I have written in ages was supposed to be featured on BlogHer yesterday, but they had technical difficulties. Go figure, it was a short post where I had used a lot of photos.

  5. Ha!!!!!!!!! So awesome.
    P.S. A pox on not knowing this earlier!

  6. I've in the past wondered how popular a post would be that simply said, "Hi!"

  7. Thanks for the tip, however once I got to the end of the sentence that ended in 'TIP' I became distracted - sorry! Could you repeat the post again but this time offer the tip in no more than 5 or 6 words please? W.C.C.

  8. @Mrs. T.: -)

    @TheOnion: Technology conspired against you, did it? I know it all too well. However, if it helps, I've never been bored by your posts! :-)

    @dbs: imo, you are THE person I read who is able to say much with few words.

    @cbeck: I'll bet it would be way more popular than most of my posts!

    @W.C.C.: Lol! Love it!

  9. Six or seven years ago, you wrote that to me in an email. "Brevity is the soul of wit." I've remembered it ever since.

    (That's not to say I always FOLLOW that advice. I just REMEMBER it. ;)